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  • Writer's pictureKasi Drummer

How Infidelity Affects Mental Health

No one ever wants to be on the receiving end of romantic betrayal. The emotional pain of discovering that someone you love and trust has been cheating and lying to you can be overwhelming.



When you are the victim of massive deception and betrayal, it can leave you feeling sadness, confusion, resentment, and anger. And let's face it, most marital affairs involve deception and undoubtably leave the other spouse feeling betrayed. Many victims also feel an increase in their anxiety and a decrease in their self-esteem. But infidelity doesn’t just affect our emotional health, it also affects our mental health.

In fact, many victims of infidelity experience the same symptoms that are linked to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). This betrayal trauma feels overwhelming and can cause you to feel totally disoriented and confused as to what has happened.


Anxiety disorder, panic attack, menopause woman, stressful depressed emotional person with mental health illness, headache and migraine sitting feeling bad sadly with back against wall on the floor in domestic home

Symptoms of PTSD After Your Partner Cheats

Some of the classic symptoms of PTSD often experienced by those whose partners have cheated on them are:

  • Looping intrusive thoughts

  • Inability to regulate emotions

  • Out of body experiences

  • Oscillating between feeling numb and rageful

  • Hyper alert (looking for new potential threats)

  • Feeling helpless and vulnerable

  • Confusion and disorientation

  • Problems with memory and cognition

  • Lack of trust

If you have been the victim of infidelity, then know that you, like a soldier returning from war, have been psychologically injured and you require tender care to set you on the path back to you.


Healing from Infidelity

As devastating as it can be to learn that your significant other has betrayed you in such an intimate way, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can pick up the pieces of your life and find joy and comfort once again.


Here are some ways you can begin to heal after infidelity:

Be Gentle on Yourself

Don’t fall into the “I should have known…” trap. This is not your fault. Now is the time to be on your own side.

Breathe Deeply

Your emotions will be overwhelming for a little while. You will feel lost, anxious and panicky. When these feelings start to rise, STOP, take a slow deep breath and let it out. Take another one and another one. It is amazing how deep breathing can completely calm us almost instantly. Your breath will become your new best friend.


Seek Counseling

Remember, you’re not just healing from infidelity, you are healing from the trauma, and maybe even PTSD that the infidelity caused. You will need some professional guidance to help you cope with the symptoms you are currently experiencing.


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